Actress Rani Mukerji, who is mother to daughter Adira Chopra, 10, recently spoke about how she tricks her daughter into having healthy food. While talking to MasterChef Sanjeev Kapoor, the Saathiya actress said, “Har din she goes, ‘Mumma I want rasgulla’ and now there’s a new trend ki bachhon ko meetha se duur rakho, sugar is poison, which I do agree. But I also feel that bachhon ko agar upar se bole ye mat khaon woh mat khaon, toh woh zyada khaate hai. Isiliye mera plan alag hai, she said, adding that “Main usko abhi bolti hoon khao khao, phir usko aise lagega mummy aisa kyun bol rahi hai — let me eat karela then.”What parenting technique Rani usesRani takes help from what is known as reverse psychology when it comes to parenting. But what is this technique, and why does it work (or not)? We take a look…
What is reverse psychologyReverse psychology plays on children’s natural desire for independence and control. (yes, even from a young age) But like any parenting tool, it has both advantages and drawbacks. Let’s dip deeper…What is Reverse Psychology in parentingReverse psychology means encouraging a behavior by suggesting the opposite. It works because many children, especially toddlers and teenagers, want to assert their independence and resist direct orders. For example, if the parent says, “Do not watch TV”, the child might want to purposely watch TV even if he is not in the mood, just to assert independence.Parents often use this technique to get children to do chores, eat healthy food, get ready for bed, or complete homework. It can be a subtle way to guide behavior without direct commands.What are the prosEncourages independence (from a young age)Children naturally want to feel in control. Reverse psychology taps into this by making them feel like they are making their own choices. This can boost their confidence and help develop decision-making skills.For example, instead of forcing a child to clean their room, a parent might say, “I don’t think you can clean your room better than me.” The child may take this as a challenge and clean up quickly, feeling proud of their independence.No power strugglesDirect commands often lead to resistance and arguments. Reverse psychology can reduce these power struggles by avoiding direct confrontation. It makes the child feel less pressured and more willing to cooperate.
Makes it challenging for the childBy framing tasks as challenges or competitions, parents can motivate children to complete them willingly. For example, challenging a child to finish their studies before a certain time can turn a chore into a game.Activates communication skillsWhen used carefully, reverse psychology encourages dialogue rather than direct orders. This can improve communication between parents and children and help build a positive relationship based on understanding.What are the consCan be gauged as “manipulative”Children, especially older ones, may sense they are being manipulated if reverse psychology is overused. This can lead to mistrust and damage the parent-child relationship.Does not always workReverse psychology works best on children who are naturally oppositional or enjoy challenges. For compliant or sensitive children, it might backfire or simply not work.May lead to defianceIf children learn that parents often say the opposite of what they mean, they may become more defiant or test boundaries more frequently, leading to more behavioral problems.Can create confusionYoung children might get mixed messages if parents use reverse psychology too often. This can confuse them about what is expected and make it harder to learn good habits.Bottom lineThe bottom line is that parenting is never a one size fits all, so do what you think is right, but no matter the technique, use it well and sparingly. Too much of anything is never a good thing!